


A Family (But Just for Tax benefits)

by Nyx93



Series: Sleepy Boys Inc Oneshots (Found Family) [6]
Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (brief) - Freeform, Anarchism, But he does care, Dream Smp, Family, Found Family, Gen, Im trying my best here, Marriage for Tax Benefits, Mentions of past abuse, Michael (the zombie pigman) - Freeform, New Parents, Pig Bonding, Post Disc War, Ranboo and Tubbo are trying their best, Slight Cannon divergence, Snowchester, Technoblade pretends to not care, The Syndicate - Freeform, and a terrible flirt, but like a slightly abnormal amount, but slightly more entertaining, feral child, he is a gremlin, how to raise a zombie pigman baby?, mentions of book clubs, mentions of chat, mentions of past trauma, no more of this 'soft boy tubbo owo' shit, platonic marriage, post L'Manberg, tubbo is a little shit, very much, very slight, with more anarchism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29965485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyx93/pseuds/Nyx93
Summary: "Ranboo, I gave you a list of conditions if you were to live near my house. Do you remember that?”“Yes…”“And what's one thing I told you not to do?”“Marry a government figure.”“And what did you do?”“Married a government figure.”
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Technoblade, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Technoblade, Ranboo & Tubbo | Toby Smith & Michael, The Syndicate - Relationship
Series: Sleepy Boys Inc Oneshots (Found Family) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977319
Comments: 13
Kudos: 794





	A Family (But Just for Tax benefits)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very cute one-shot based off of Technoblade's most recent stream, where he creates the Syndicate and visits Tubbo in Snowchester. But, what would happen if Ranboo was already there, trying to somehow find a way to hide his son from his brand new 'book club'. (There is a tiny bit of cannon divergence, but not enough to be confusing!)
> 
> Also, according to Ao3 statistics, only about 10 percent of you are subscribed/following me. So if you like this fic, please consider giving me Kudos and leaving comments, its free, and you can always undo it later. Anyway, enjoy the fic!

“Ranboo, you knew we’d have to tell Technoblade eventually.”

Tubbo was stood in his own house, his arms at his side, looking very crossed. He was wearing his usual Snowchester outfit, a warm tunic with large, black boots with snow decorating the bottom of the heel. 

“I know, I just didn't expect to tell him so soon.” Ranboo answered quickly, scrambling around as he cleaned up his house. He threw practically everything that was askew on the floor into a rouge empty chest, teleporting to every corner of the house to make sure there wasn't a speck of dirt or dust. “The marriage, our kid, how on earth are we supposed to explain that to him.” Ranboo continued, pacing around nervously.'

Tubbo had just broken the news to his ‘husband’ that he planned on telling Technoblade about their engagement (and child) sometime this week, and Ranboo had not stopped freaking out about it since.

“Well, that’s a good question, isn't it? Hopefully you’ll find the answer before Techno gets here today.” Tubbo suggested, shoving his arms into his pockets as he gave Ranboo a cheeky grin.

Ranboo whipped his head around so quickly it made Tubbo dizzy. The taller teen’s eyes were wide with panic, and if he had the ability to sweat, Tubbo had no doubt Ranboo would be nothing but a puddle by now. “Why is he coming _today?!_ ” He panicked, crouching down to meet Tubbo’s eye as he flung his hands on the shorter boy’s shoulders.

“Said he’s worried about me becoming a ‘governmental tyrant who thinks he has the authority to rule over others’, apparently.” Tubbo scoffed, every single ounce of sarcasm dripping from his voice. 

“How soon is he getting here?” Ranboo questioned, very worried for the answer that he would be given. 

“Taking the dolphin express tunnel? In like, a minute, minute and a half maybe?” Tubbo guessed, shrugging casually as he spoke. 

Ranboo froze completely, ever so slightly digging his nails into the skin of Tubbo’s shoulder. After a moment, he removed his hands, and clasped them in front of his face in exasperation. He closed his eyes, and after a moment; inhaled, and then exhaled. “WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME THESE THINGS TUBBO?!” Ranboo shouted, his face bleaching with each passing second. 

“I DO TELL YOU. YOU JUST FORGET.” Tubbo retorted back, enunciating every other word without breaking eye contact with his partner. A nonverbal staring contest broke out between the two, despite the fact that Ranboo could go for minutes without blinking. 

Ranboo sighed, eventually giving in to the boy in front of him as he backed away with his hands in surrender. “Listen, I’ll take Michael, put him in his room in the basement for safety. While I do that, try and keep Techno away from the house for as long as possible.” 

With that, Ranboo scooped up his boy in his arms, who, after squirming for a bit, eventually made his home in the grasp of one of his dads. Absent-mindedly, as Ranboo picked up some of Michael's toys, the pigling child played with the tie of his fathers outfit, giggling slightly as he did. 

“You’re going to keep our kid in the basement? Real great parenting there, Ranboo.” Tubbo laughed good-naturedly, helping the older teen with picking up more of Michael's toys. 

“I don't suppose you have another idea?” The half-enderman queried, raising an eyebrow at his partner. “It’s not like we can leave him with the neighbors, especially after what happened last time.” 

The two parents shuddered almost simultaneously as they recalled the events of a couple weeks ago. They had left Michael with their neighbors, a kind and generous family that lived next door with a kid of their own. Rather than make friends with the neighbor’s son (like Ranboo and Tubbo had predicted), Michael threw a tantrum, escaped the watchful eyes of his caretakers, and had followed his two dads for almost half a mile before anyone noticed.

“Alright, alright. Go put Michael away.” Tubbo decided, throwing a couple items on his person into his chest. “I’ll greet Techno at the entrance to Snowchester and try to keep him occupied.”

“Got it.” Ranboo nodded in agreement, holding out his slightly full hands to present Michael to the younger teen, who gave the child a quick boop on the nose, before heading out. 

Tubbo’s boots sunk into the thin layer of snow as he made his way to the entrance of Snowchester. Already he could see a group of people, with Techno leading the pack, looking around carefully as he surveyed his surroundings. 

“Ay, Technoblade, what brings you here?” Tubbo asked casually, but not unkindly, stepping forward towards the newly arrived group. 

“Just here with a couple friends.” Technoblade shrugged, gesturing his head towards the people behind him. “Heard about this place and decided to check it out for the first time. Ya know, just curious.”

Tubbo raised an eyebrow slightly at the comment. For as long Tubbo knew Techno, he rarely did anything just out of curiosity, without some sort of ulterior motive. 

Returning to his usual carefree demeanor, Tubbo addressed the two people who accompanied the pig hybrid. “Oh, hello Phil, welcome back Nikki.” The boy greeted, Phil responded with a kind ‘hullo mate’ and Nikki with a small wave. 

“So, how about the grand tour, I’d love to see how your little...area is coming along.” Techno proposed, still carefully looking around. Tubbo wasn't really sure what he was looking for, there wasn't anything spectacular in Snowchester, save for the kind people and the nukes, of course. 

“Oh, it's coming along great, really. Thank you for asking Techno.” Tubbo smiled good-naturedly, walking along the path through the town, gesturing for the newcomers to follow along. “You saw the dolphin express tunnel, yeah? I'm really proud of that.” He grinned proudly, giving a polite nod to a group of citizens passing by. 

“So, how would you describe yourself in this town?” Techno asked, trying to sound as casual as possible, his shoulders stiffening a bit as he spoke. Tubbo shot him a questioning glance, as though he needed to be more specific, and the pig man just sighed. 

“Like, are you just some guy, a mayor, a _president?_ ” The anarchist’s voice strained as he spoke the last word, as though even the thought of it gave him physical pain. Tubbo could tell Phil and Nikki were shooting him side-glances, like they knew something no one else did. 

“Oh god no.” Tubbo laughed, as though that were the most hilarious idea he had ever heard of. “I'm just the founder, of sorts. No real authority figure here.” He waved his hand dismissively at the thought. 

“Ah yeah?” Techno echoed, almost sounding relieved (and maybe a bit disappointed?) as he continued walking by the younger one’s side. “No more L’Manberg Tubbo. You’re not becoming a tyrant like you were last time, eh?”

“Techno I don't understand the government.” Tubbo replied, completely serious.

The pigman chuckled slightly at the boy’s response. “Fair enough. Hey, is that Ranboo?”

Tubbo followed Technoblade’s gaze, and sure enough he spotted Ranboo, ducking behind a pillar belonging to one of the houses, clearly trying his best not to be spotted (and failing miserably). 

“Uh, where?” Tubbo asked, playing stupid, hoping it would buy his partner sometime to figure out what the actual hell he was doing. 

“I was wondering where he had snuck off to, we just had our first m-” Techno began, before quickly being cut off by Philza's rambling.

“Book club meeting!” The older man interrupted, shooting Techno somewhat of a glaring look that could send shivers down anyone's spine. “We were having a book club meeting when we heard about Snowchester.” 

“Oh yeah? Ranboo didn't tell me about a book club.” Tubbo duly noted, filing that information away for later. Then again, Ranboo didn’t have to tell him everything, he was allowed to have secrets, the both of them were. 

“Well, it's a very recently made club, that's probably why you've never heard of it.” Techno finished off, looking very uncomfortable with the sudden change of subject. 

“I love book clubs! Can I join?” Tubbo asked enthusiastically, continuing walking as he turned to face the group. 

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Hey Ranboo, over here!” Nikki called out, waving over the teen in question (who was still hiding behind the pillar, for some unknown reason). The teen in question widened his eyes, and quickly looked around for anyone else that Nikki could have been referring to. 

After realizing he had been caught, Ranboo came out from his hiding spot, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Oahaha, hey Phil, Techno, Nikki. Tubbo.” 

“We were wondering where you went after our book club meeting.” Phil questioned aoud, his voice casual, but with a very slight (and dangerous) threatening undertone to it. 

Ranboo quirked an eyebrow at the older man’s remark.“Bo- oh yeah! Sorry, I was just pretty eager to check this place out, I decided to go on ahead. Ya know, Enderman powers and stuff?” He recovered smoothly enough, his normally tall stature now hunched over as he spoke. 

The winged man gave a look that could only be described as one a parent would give a child if they wanted to say something without other people knowing. “Ahuh, alright. Tubbo, should we continue the tour?” Phil asked finally, and Tubbo felt himself exhale with relief. 

“Yeah, lets!” Tubbo echoed, leading his group through numerous parts of the town, with Ranboo trying to act as though he had seen none of this before. The shorter teen's voice grew hoarse somewhere around the center of the town, and it was only then that it occurred to him to invest in tour guides for the near future. 

The four of them were walking at a steady pace, when Techno suddenly stopped, wincing a bit as he held his hooved hand to his ear. “Sorry guys, the little timer in my head is going off, you don't have an empty room nearby where I can do my sellout timer?”

Ah yes, the sellout timer. Tubbo was aware that Technoblade often had to deal with ‘voices in his head’ which normally would send anyone running; but it was a bit anticlimactic to find out that most of the time, the voices would just provide the occasional snide comments to current situations.

Of course, that didn’t mean they didn't need their needs met. When the voices start chanting ‘blood for the blood god’, you best hope you're not within a three mile radius of the pigman. 

Tubbo could only silently hope that the voices was more of a Technoblade thing and not just a pigman thing, for the sake of Michael, of course. (Then again, Phil and Wilbur were also vocal about the fact that they too, heard numerous voices, so it couldn't be that bad, right?)

The brunette quickly pulled himself away from thoughts, and brought his attention back onto Technoblade. “Oh yeah, we have an empty building just down the block, I can take you there if you'd like.”

Techno gave a silent nod, as Tubbo kindly encouraged him to follow the boy towards the end of the block of buildings. As much as the older male tried to hide it, Tubbo could notice how drained he looked from the voices. But, the last thing Techno ever wanted was pity, so Tubbo just continued to lead him to an empty building, the smile hardly wavering from his face. 

As soon as the two were out of sight, Phil and Nikki turned to Ranboo, both with intense expressions that made Ranboo jump ever so slightly. “Ranboo, you didn't tell Tubbo, did you?” Nikki threatened, a very dangerous edge to her voice that Ranboo had heard before. 

“What, of course not!” Ranboo answered truthfully, mentally letting out a sigh of relief that the two weren't asking about his and Tubbo’s relationship. “I just joined the Syndicate, you really think I would break the first and only rule within ten minutes?” He asked, more rhetorically than not. 

The girl gave a look to Phil, who stood out at her side, giving her a quick shake of the head. “No, I suppose you’re right.” Nikki replied, quickly sheathing her sword and putting it away with care. This startled Ranboo for no other reason than the fact that he didn’t even realize _she had pulled out her sword at all_.

“Sorry guys, I’m back.” Tubbo smiled, quickly congregating back into the group, hardly noticing the paleness of his partner. “I brought Techno somewhere far enough away where we shouldn’t have to hear him ringing the bell.” 

Just as soon as he said that, a bell rang feverishly and quickly, the clanging and chimes still audible from where the group stood, if not ever so slightly muffled and muted. 

“Or...I stand corrected.” Tubbo sighed, biting the outside of his lip in order to compose himself.

Philza, however, made no effort to hide his loud, raucous laughter, dissolving into a fit of giggles, chirps and shallow breaths by the time he ‘calmed down’. Philza and Technoblade did share a house, so it would make sense why Phil was already used to the ringing. (But his poor ears, if the bell was this audible for this distance away, Tubbo couldn't imagine being in the same building, much less room.) 

“Tubbo, is this your house over here?” Nikki asked curiously, breaking through the noise of Phil’s laughter. She gestured towards one of the larger houses in the area, the lights turned on giving it more of a homely feeling. 

“Oh yeah Nikki, it is. I’m actually really proud of the way it looks.” Tubbo answered with pride. Of course, he knew that Ranboo had been the one to do most of the work, but it wasn't like he could take credit for that now. 

“It’s a great build, Tubbo.” Nikki nodded sincerely, giving the building a quick once-over. “But maybe you shouldn't keep the door open, don't want any mobs getting inside.”

Tubbo blanched, immediately getting stiff as he glanced towards his house. “The door was open?” He asked carefully, his mouth suddenly very dry. 

“Hm? Oh yeah, don't worry, I can close it for you.” Nikki smiled, doing just that. Tubbo quickly glanced inside the house, checking to see if Michael had gone anywhere. 

“Yeah. thanks.” He answered Nikki absentmindedly, his worst fear coming to fruition. Michael wasn't in the house, and it looked as though the basement door hadn't been closed either. 

Tubbo briskly walked up to Ranboo, who was chatting up Phil, when the brunette pulled Ranboo by the sleeve of his suit, much to Phil’s confusion, of course. He brought the much taller boy to the alleyway behind their house, practically seething as he looked his partner directly in the eye, pulling him by the collar of his undershirt.

“Did you leave the door open?!” He grilled, his teeth clenching together as he spoke. “Because when I checked, the door to the basement and outside were still open!” 

Ranboo furrowed his brows in confusion, before the weight of the situation dawned upon him. “Of course I closed the door, Tubbo! I’m not dumb!” He answered back, trying to pull away from his husband’s tight grip. 

“Well, he’s not in the house! And it's not like Michael can open doors, Ranboo!” Tubbo hissed, trying to keep his voice at a low volume to avoid having anyone overhear. Tubbo was about to speak again, before a look dawned across his face, his grip softening, and his expression becoming scarily muted. “...can he?”

\----

Techno had just finished up his designated sellout timer time, speaking to the voices as he put the bell away in his pocket. “Alright, thank you chat for the subs and new members, thank you for the twenty, aaaand I'm just going to reset my timer real quick, can't deprive any millionaires from don- huh?”

He was suddenly interrupted from his usual spiel when he felt something tug at his cape. He was about to disregard it, thinking the fabric may have just snagged on a loose floorboard or something, but after the tug was continuous, he decided to look down.

His normally muted face broke out into one of shock as his mind tried to process what he was seeing. There, on the third floor of an empty building, in the middle of a snowy tundra, was a pigling.

A pigling on the surface?

He was very well dressed for a pigling, bundled up in a nice outfit that would keep anyone warm, especially a nether-dweller. The creature could have been no bigger than a young toddler (how old in years, Techno didn't know), with brushed out fur which was overcomed to hide the left side of his face, which was mainly skull and bones. (A zombie pigman, then). 

“How did you get here?” Techno asked the boy, crouching down ever so slightly as the boy kept pulling at his cape. “Chat, has that been here the whole time?” He asked aloud, directed to the voices in his head.

**/rainbowchat ! No. What?. How did he get there. NO WAY. Michael?? Where’s Tubbo? Who? POG! Wow**

“Michael?” Techno echoed, trying to filter out the useless information and spam that his voices routinely provided him. 

Sure enough, the pigling looked up at the sound of his name, his nose scrunching as he sniffed around. Techno wasn’t entirely sure how some of the voices knew the kids name (it didn't seem like they were omnipotent, then again, how would he know?), but he was thankful anyway.

“Michael. Are you lost, uh, kid?” Techno supplied awkwardly, carefully trying to pull the kid off of his cape. He wasn't sure how Michael would respond, if at all; he knew nether dwellers each had their own way of communicating, but right now, Techno could only hope for the best. 

_No_. Michael answered, or at least, it seemed like he answered. Along with shaking his head, the kid also sent out the ‘no’ somehow, like telepathically, as far as Techno could tell. It was like another voice in his head, but this one was sectioned off, more loud, more clear, and certainly not as annoying. 

“No?” Techno pressed on, the kid now leaving the cape alone, and instead fixated on the man in front of him. “Do you uh, have a home? Parents? Don't tell me you’re an orphan, kid, I can't deal with that today

_Have dads_. The kid replied, his eyes unblinking as he practically stared into Techno’s soul.

_Well obviously, the kid had a home_ , Techno thought to himself stupidly, brushing off the fact that kid said he had multiple dads (not that he cared, he was just glad he didn't have to use his Orphan Obliterator). _He’s here, in the overworld, dressed in clothes, for creators sake_.(Of course he would be dressed in clothes, what else would he be dressed in, stupid Techno.)

“Oh, alright. Do you wanna...come with me?” Technoblade offered, finishing up his internal monologue. The kid nodded, no audible response needed, as he held out his arms as if asking to be carried.

Techno compiled surprisingly easily. He hadn't been around a kid so young in ages, he had forgotten that he didn't really care for them. “You like the cape? It's nice right?” He said, after realizing the kid’s hoover was running across the fabric of his clothing. “The buttons are gold.”

He took the kid downstairs, being careful not to drop him. He may be an orphan killer, but he wasn't a monster. Techno was about to walk out the door to reunite with the Syndicate, when the kid pulled on his shirt, as if to grab his attention.

_Like me?_ Michael asked curiously, pointing to Techno, himself, and then again at Techno. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what the kid meant by that. 

“Yeah, yeah I'm sorta like you. I guess.” Technoblade responded curtly, but not unkindly. He didn't have the time to dive into the logistics and difference between himself, zombie pigmen, and piglings. That would take too long, and the kid would probably get bored. 

The answer didn’t seem to satisfy Michael, however, as he continued to look up at him with big, curious eyes, as if imploring Techno to say more. “You're a pretty nosy kid, ya know that? I feel like you’d get along with Steve.” The anarchist chuckled quietly, failing to elaborate who Steve was, of course. 

Technoblade finally reached The Syndicate, accompanied by Tubbo, who was having a ‘stealthy’ conversation with Ranboo near the back of one of the buildings. 

“Hey guys, does anyone know who’s kid this is?” Techno asked, holding out the kid in his arms like he was some sort of offering. 

“Michael!!” Tubbo cried out in relief, completely pulling his attention away from the conversation he and Ranboo were having. 

The child squirmed in Techno’s arms at the sound of his name, and, much to Techno’s surprise, tried to pry himself away from the pig hybrid’s arms and head towards Tubbo. 

“Uh, do you...know him, or something?” Technoblade asked aloud, more to Michael than anyone else. He didn't just want to give this kid over to someone Michael didn't know, even if Techno was already quite familiar with Tubbo. (When Techno became so protective of a kid that wasn't his, he didn't know.) 

_Dads!_ Michael squealed excitedly, prompting the anarchist to drop him gently to the ground, watching with a surprised expression as the kid ran over to Tubbo. 

“Tubbo, this is yours, then, huh?” Techno queried rhetorically. It was pretty clear that Michael was already familiar with the ex-president, even going so far as to also request to be picked up. Under normal circumstances, Techno would think the kid did that to everyone, but seeing the way he sped past Phil and Nikki without a second glance, he wasn't so sure.” 

What he did not expect was for the kid to run over to Ranboo right after Tubbo. He clung to the half-enderman’s leg like it was his saving grace, and was soon picked up and held in Ranboo’s arms, as though it were something that had been done a hundred times before.

Ranboo looked at the pigling affectionately, moving a peice of hair out of his face, before suddenly realizing that he wasn't alone. He turned back to the rest of the group who (saved for Tubbo) seemed just as confused and Technoblade was, if not more.

“Shit.” Ranboo cursed, much to Michael's delight

“Ranboo, he knows you?” Phil put in carefully, trying to assess the situation for himself. When he was eventually stumped, he turned to look at Techno for some sort of explanation, and was only given a shrug in response. 

“Where did you find him?” Tubbo asked Techno, his eyes shimmering with tears (tears?) as he spoke. The poor kid looked so happy he looked like he was about to give Technoblade a hug. “God, I was so worried he got stuck under the ice, or something.” 

“This is..” Nikki tried to speak, before quickly closing her mouth again. No matter how hard she tried to speak, she could not, for the life of her, figure out what the hell was going on. 

“Is Michael your uh… pet, or something?” Techno asked, already knowing the answer to his question. Well, at least he thinks he knows, then again, he could be missing the mark completely. 

Tubbo pulled a face at Techno’s words, bringing himself closer to Ranboo and Michael. “No, he’s my….” He trailed off, glancing at Ranboo for a moment, before nodding ever so slightly. 

“He’s our kid.” Ranboo finished, holding Michael in one hand and pulling Tubbo closer with another. 

Technoblade froze. It wasn't very often you could catch him off guard, but when you did, it was certainly a sight to behold. “Your what?”

Tubbo turned to Ranboo, completely ignoring Techno and the rest of the Syndicate as he spoke. “You were supposed to put him away, Ranboo! What if he fell into the nuke pit?”

Techno froze again, still processing the last statement Ranboo made. “The what-”

“He wouldn't get that far Tubbo.” Ranboo insisted, rolling his eyes at the teen beside him. “And besides,” he continued on. “I already told you, I did put him away! You really are an annoying husband sometimes, huh.”

“A WHAT?”

Techno was buffering now, this was all too much information to process with a timespan of three seconds. He kept opening and closing his mouth, without a single sound coming out. Niki and Phil also seemed as shocked, wondering to themselves if they had heard all of that correctly. 

“Oh yeah!” Tubbo smiled, turning back to the group, putting them out of their pathetic misery. “Me and Ranboo are married now, we have a kid, and a bunch of nukes!”

Only two of those three things struck fear into Techno’s heart, and it wasn't the idea of nuclear weapons, oddly enough. By now, Michael had gotten tired of being held by his dad, and was now on the ground, observing Nikki and Phil from a distance. 

Technoblade took a deep breath, speaking only to the half-enderman before him. “Ranboo, I gave you a list of conditions if you were to live near my house. Do you remember that?”

Ranboo nodded hesitantly, unsure of where this conversation was headed. “Yes…” 

“And what's one thing I told you not to do?” Techno quizzed, thinking back to the time had repeated this exact rule to Ranboo for the first time.

“Marry a government figure.” Ranboo recalled, shrinking slightly under the Pig-hybrid’s hard gaze. 

“And what did you do?”

“Married a government figure.” Ranboo was suddenly very uncomfortable with the energy surrounding the two of them, Techno looking as though he had so much more to say, preferably in private where he could take one of Ranboo’s cannon lives without too much fuss. 

“Are we just going to ignore the whole nukes thing?” Phil interrupted, turning everyone’s attention towards him. Nikki nodded in agreement, also in pat wondering why the whole ‘nuclear weapons’ thing was simply brushed aside. 

“Oh, I can bring you to the nuke pit, ground zero, if you will.” Tubbo proposed, once again taking on his little tour guide persona. “We do have to take another tunnel to get there, though.” 

Technoblade grinned at the ex-president’s words. “I would very much like to see the nuke pit.” Nikki nodded with a smile as Philza laughed in agreement. 

Tubbo guestered towards Michael, who was currently once again playing with Technoblade’s cape, rubbing the soft fabric against his face in awe. “Ranboo, take Michael and bring him back to the house, I’m sure Techno wouldn't want him pulling on his cape all day.”

“No, it's alright, he can stay.” Techno said suddenly, without even thinking. He hated to admit it, but in the five minutes he had interacted with Michael one-on-one, he had already gotten attached. “Unless, the pit is dangerous, in which case, that's up to you.” Technoblade backtracked a bit, as his face flushed slightly. He really hoped no one would notice his sudden enthusiasm with keeping Michael around.

“It's not radioactive, or anything, right?” Philza asked cautiously. Nobody blamed him for his hesitancy to see the nuke pit, after all, the winged-man had seen his fair deal of explosions (some of which caused by him). 

Tubbo shook his head earnestly. “Oh no, no. The radiation levels have already gone down to nearly undetectable!” He said this proudly, like he had any part in how quickly radiation was spread around. 

“Nearly?” Nikki echoed warily.

The group broke out into a laugh as Tubbo continued the tour, seeming much more relaxed then he had previously been, with Ranboo and Michael by his side.

Ranboo held back a bit, bringing up the rear end of the group as though he were waiting for someone. Eventually, Technoblade caught notice, and quickly handing over Michael to Tubbo, went to go and talk to the sulking half-enderman. 

“Ranboo.” The pig-hybrid started simply, adjusting certain parts of his cape that Michael had unintentionally messed up. 

“Yeah.” Ranboo answered back, already pretty certain where the conversation was headed. He didn't want to be kicked out of the Syndicate, and he didn't want to have to choose between his family or Techno. (Of course, he knew deep down, he would choose his family in a heartbeat.)

“So, you married Tubbo.” Technoblade said stupidly. Obviously the two of them knew the answer to that already. 

“For tax purposes, I should emphasize.” Ranboo clarified. He had been so caught up with everything about Michael, that it only occurred to him now to let Technoblade know he didn't actually have any romantic attraction to his husband. “Tubbo knows this, of course. We agreed to it.” 

“Right. You married Tubbo for tax purposes.” Technoblade repeated, his tone as level as it had been the first time. 

“Yes.” Ranboo answered truthfully. He knew he was walking a dangerous line here, but he was tired of lying and keeping secrets from everyone. 

“And you have a kid together named Michael, who is a zombie pigling.” As Techno said this, he guestered his head over to the child in question, who was now checking out Philza’s wings with extreme interest. 

“Yes.” Ranboo nodded, recalling fondly upon the memories. “I ran into him on like, my first day of the server. Me and Tubbo decided to bring him home, and the rest is pretty much history.” 

“ And you’re still loyal to the Syndicate?” Technoblade asked, a certain edge to his voice that wasn't previously there. 

Ranboo gave the man a strange look. Was that what he was concerned about? Ranboo leaving the Syndicate and betraying them? Was there a possibility that Technoblade actually...liked Ranboo? 

“Yes.” Ranboo answered, without a second of hesitation. He had heard about what had happened to Techno many times before he got to know him. Constantly betrayed, used as a weapon; things like that could amount to serious consequences, and Ranboo promised not to be one of them. 

Techno hummed for a moment, satisfied with the answer Ranboo had given. But, before the half-enderman could rejoin Tubbo at the front of the group, he was held back by the grasp of Technoblades hooves. It took a moment for him to speak, but when he did, it wasn't something Ranboo was expecting.

“And are you happy, Ranboo?

What an interesting question. Was Ranboo really happy? He had been subject to countless nights of torture thanks to Dream, he was constantly on edge about promising to never chose a side, and everythime he forgot something, a part of him would always wonder if it was really worth remembering _anything_.

But now? Now Ranboo had Tubbo, the greatest platonic partner he could ever ask for. He had Michael, someone he hoped and prayed to raise better than Ranboo was, someone he could give everything to. He had the Syndicate, which currently seemed more like a fun little secret club than anything too sinister.

He had a family. 

“Yeah, actually. I’m happy, I really, really am.” Ranboo eventually answered. Of course, nothing would erase what he had gone through, but he had so many people who loved him and cared for him; to the point where it seemed like maybe he wouldn't have to face everything alone. 

“Alright then. That's all I really need to know.” Techno sniffed, walking a little further ahead to the front of the group. It was heartwarming to know that Technoblade cared, even if he had a different way of showing it. 

The group had made it to the tunnel already, so they should be reaching ground zero soon. Ranboo waited for a bit, letting everyone else grab their boats and go on ahead. Techno, and Michael had gotten into one boat, Phil and Nikki in the other.

“Why the hell is this tunnel so scuffed?” Phil shouted from inside his boat as he slid across the ice. Tubbo made a noise of protest, as he got into a boat with Ranboo talking about how the tunnels were not, infact, scuffed.

Tubbo sat back in the boat and Ranboo began to row across the ice to ground zero. “So, sexy,” The shorter teen began, taking clear enjoyment in how flustered his partner was getting, “What’s this I hear about you joining a book club?”

Ranboo spluttered in embarrassment and annoyance. “I’m going to drop-kick you into the sun, Tubbo.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr, go follow me and shout at me! : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nyx93  
> Also, this fic is all in good fun, so please don't harass me or anyone featured in this story!


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